Monday, December 31, 2012

Santa Rupert Is Missing-Or Is He?

by Elizabeth Emerald

Seasons Greetings Tiny Villagers! This is Elizabeth Emerald reporting live from our very on TVCO News Room. I have a saucy yet shocking story to report to all my tiny viewers. After being trapped in a tiny blizzard for 4 days, my field reporter, Scott Stone, made his way to the snow fort in tiny kingdom and reported to me that "Santa Rupert is not missing". That's right, Tiny People, as usual another government cover up!

It all started back in July when Manny Moonstone met his death behind the Starlilly66 village rock, leaving Cindy Clay stone single and bitter. It is a sad story Tiny Viewers, but Cindy has turned into the village harlot! Yes, she has been caught on numerous occasions with Rupert's right hand man Sean Shale Dow. at the Salad Shop sharing a bowl of croutons. Jenny Jade has finally had enough of Sean's infidelity after catching him and Cindy smooching under the villages New Year Clock, and she has kicked him out of their little Villa. Jenny even hired a Holiday Hoodlum to break in and steal all the village resources from the storehouses so Rupert would fire Sean for negligence.

Oh what a tiny web we weave!

Of course, Ozzie helped Santa Rupert hide out in the tiny snow mountains,yes he even let him take off riding Ozzie's best reindeer raptor. He is in the Tiny Snow Caves where Ozzie stores his abominable snowman eggs. All this cover up so Regina wouldn't find out about Sean's Tiny Shortcomings. All this wasn't even the worst of it.

The biggest cover up in Tiny Kingdom this season was committed by Representative Matt and his dreaded understaffed bureaucratic Tiny Watch team. Honestly who would ever fall for Bart "Oh sorry Scott" Hard the caveman. And really team, all the messages telling them that they won a penguin egg and Happy Holidays. Sounds to me as though our Tiny Watch team got a little saucy this week, too.

As always this is Elizabeth Emerald bringing you TVCO News with a Hugh Splash of Humor. Stay Sober out there..